BeingTribal is a practice of transformation of a small group of individuals all seeking purposeful change in their life. A tribe should be carefully cultivated based on the traits of each individual, including energy, core values, and personality. (Download the Values Worksheet to help you identify what is important to you in selecting your tribe.)
When I cultivate a tribe for myself, I begin with energy first. The terms “chi,” “aura,” or “life force” all refer to energy and mean the same thing. Each of us has emotional energy that we radiate, and you can sense another person’s energy by being around them. Through spending time with someone, talking and listening, you can tell if that person is a positive person or a negative person. If you are having a conversation with someone, and afterwards you feel more energized, cheerful, and optimistic about yourself, that is positive energy. If you feel tired, drained, or doubtful of your next steps, that is a sign of negative energy. I am extremely sensitive to energies, so I am careful about whom I spend time with, and you should be too. Use your intuition; it will lead you in the right direction.
Next, look the core values of a person. What values are important for you? Do you value honesty, punctuality, integrity, frugality, spirituality, or equality? Do not invite an individual into a tribe, or join a tribe, if you don’t share a majority of similar core values.
In the third area, consider personality traits, like whether individuals are logical, artistic, analytical, visionary, or optimistic. Build your tribe with many different types of personalities that complement each other. Each of us has gifts that we bring to relationships, and much of that is embedded in our personality. Look for individuals who exhibit good intent in their daily life. The late author and motivational speaker, Jim Rohn, said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Think about the people you choose to have in your life and how you will be impacted by those who will form your tribe.
Finally, you will be empowered to create a new tribe and pay forward the wisdom you have learned. You will share the wisdom of BeingTribal with others. The transformation begins with you, and then your tribe, which spills out into your community and ultimately changes your world.
So, let’s get started!
1. Attracting Your Tribe
Your vibe attracts your tribe. You will attract people that reflect how you think and feel about yourself. Even if you are not where you want to be, stay positive and focused on your journey. If you are ready to cultivate your tribe, think about how you want your life to look and feel. Be clear about why you are making a change in your life and write this down.
2. Using the Tools
The tools that have worked for me over many years in my journey are meditation, journaling, affirmations, vision boards, and a personal vision statement. Naturally, I included these tools in my book, and I have examples of all these tools on my website as well. Remember that perfection is not the end goal; you just need to keep moving forward. If you don’t normally journal, start slow and only ask yourself to write a single paragraph each day. If you don’t meditate, begin with just a five-minute guided meditation. Make a list of all the things you love and appreciate about yourself. Affirmations are a great way to remind yourself of how much you love who you are and who you are becoming. Create a vision board and personal mission statement. Post copies of your affirmations, mission statement, or your vision board in multiple places – in your office, in your bathroom, or on your phone screen. What you think about is what you will attract to your life. Keeping your positive messages and goals in the forefront of your mind empowers you to be present and positive in your day.
3. Making the List
Who are you going to invite to join your tribe? This may be the biggest question you are asking yourself, and it’s an important one. Take a piece of paper and fold it in half. On the left side, write a list of people in your life that lift you up and make you feel good. These are the people you will consider inviting to join your tribe. On the right side, make a list of individuals that leave you feeling criticized, judged, or exhausted. Those are people you will not invite to your tribe under any circumstances. What if you don’t have many positive folks in your life? Get out of your comfort zone and connect with people that you have only met once or twice. Reach out to folks that you normally don’t talk to, but are impressed by. This process can take time, but you will find your tribe. Trust that it will all fall together.
4. Inviting Members to Dance
When you have a list of your potential tribal members, it is time to invite them to create a tribe with you. Take a day or two for this process. Connect with each person and say, “I am creating a BeingTribal group which will be focused on personal empowerment and making small one-degree shifts in our lives. I would love for you to be a part of it. Please consider coming to our first meeting to see if this group feels like a good fit to you.” Some people will say yes, and some will say no, and this is OK. The individuals who show up in your tribe are the ones who are supposed to be there. (Check out pages 53 and 54 in my book for more information.)
5. Gathering the Tribe
Your first meeting should have a simple agenda with lots of interaction. First, explain why you wanted to create a tribe and what you hope to accomplish in the tribe. Second, before anyone has shared, ask for everyone to promise to keep these conversations confidential. Even if someone decides not to join, they must agree to honor confidentiality. If they can’t commit to that, they should be asked to leave. Then, invite everyone to introduce themselves. Ask them “If you could make a one-degree shift in any part of your life, what would it be?”
6. Arranging to Meet
Once you have your tribal members set, schedule your first official commitment meeting. This is where you will set your ground rules and sign a commitment document. (See an example here.)
After your first meeting, plan on holding a monthly meeting for up to twelve months. If you are unable to meet in person, set up one-hour virtual monthly meetings via Skype, Zoom, or conference call. Everyone should be able to see each other if this is possible.
7. Learning to Lead
Each month, a different tribal member will lead the group, find resources online, and run the meeting. The leadership of the meetings will rotate through the tribe so everyone takes the responsibility to lead. This is really important because it allows all the voices to be heard and builds everyone’s leadership skills. Not everyone will lead the same way, but this makes for such a wonderful experience because everyone can learn from each other. When we allow those around us to lead, we empower the group by tuning into each other in a sacred way.
8. Sharing Wisdom
Choose a different topic to explore every month. The tribe will decide on the topics to cover, whether it be meditation, journaling, finances, fitness, vision boards, relationships, or any other topic you choose. (See a list of suggested topics here.) Each member of the tribe will share their wisdom on this topic, and you will learn how to make a one-degree shift in that area. The end goal is to gain wisdom and pay that wisdom forward through sharing your transformation with others in our Global Tribe.
A typical meeting begins with each member sharing what they have been working on from last month’s topic. Each person will share what has been their biggest win and what has been their biggest challenge and how both related to their goals in this area. Each tribal member should only speak for about five minutes, and there should be a timekeeper to ensure that everyone has their time to share. Next, the leader of the meeting will introduce the focus topic for the coming month. They will share a video or an article on the topic. The leader will then share what one-degree shift they would like to personally focus on and then each member will do the same. Finally, at the end of the meeting, the monthly tribal leader asks each person, “What can the tribe do for you?”
9. Staying Connected
It’s important to set up a private group for your tribe where you can message each other during the month. Whether you’re discussing the monthly topic, asking for support with a challenge, or requesting tribal wisdom, being available to support and empower each other is crucial. Some tribes have a daily huddle just to stay connected. It is completely up to you and your tribe. A focus on honest communication that is compassionate in nature will replace judgement and guilt. This will be part of how you create commitment document when you first create your tribe.
10. Prioritizing Your Journey
If you are the one creating this tribe, you may feel like you need to lead every meeting and sacrifice your journey to enable the success of others. This is the exact opposite of what works. When you put your journey first and collaborate with your tribe, and they are putting themselves first, it allows everyone to grow and learn. Do your work. Work your tools. Slowly, in one-degree shifts, everything will fall into place.
BeingTribal is challenging to your heart, mind, body, and spirit. You have been through far more challenging things and you can easily do this work. Give yourself and your tribe members grace as you move through this beautiful practice. Remember to be gentle with yourself. This process takes time, and no timeline is right or wrong. Be honest with your tribe about what you are struggling with. Celebrate wins and losses. When you get off course or fail, it is a good thing because that is where we learn. Find the wisdom in it and celebrate that too. Keep your shifts small. This is not a “Transform your life in a month!” endeavor. It is a culmination of slow and steady one-degree shifts. The magic is in the practice!
Blessings, love, and light,